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(If you got here from the 2002 page and want to return there, click below.)

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Frequently Asked Questions

(by, as usual, Steve Fey)

How come you just sit there after the light so clearly turns green? Huh?

Just what is an Elemeno, and whatís that about its pee?

Exactly what is the purpose of life? Asking ridiculous questions? Címon, spill!

What is that orange stuff that they use to color Cheetos?

Why do bad things happen to good people. Maybe more importantly, why do good things happen to bad people?

Who wrote the book of Love? And whatís with chapter XXIII?

Whatís this hanging out of my nose?

Is this the menís room?

How do you get ketchup stains out of your shirt?

Whatís the speed limit on this road?

Where am I and what am I doing?

Am I dreaming? I sure hope Iím dreaming? Whereís my pants?

Whatís that *%$) noise that the modem makes when it connects?

Damn! How far did you say it was to the next rest area?

Why do you always find something in the last place you look?*

Why is the boss always dumber than you?

Is it time for lunch yet?

Is it Friday yet?

Where in *$#% did I leave my keys?

Whereís the remote?

Oh, man, is that ref blind?

Why donít you stop and ask somebody?

How do they get it to do that?

Is this day ever going to end?

Are we there yet?

Can I get a tattoo?

If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?

How did that big ship get into that little bottle?

Why on earth do you expect any answers from a page that specifically says itís devoted to questions?

*If you donít know the answer to this one, write to me and Iíll tell you about a great opportunity to buy some ocean front property in Phoenix!


***** Contributions are welcome for this page. Heck, I can't possibly think all of this stuff up! MAIL ME your suggestions and I'll use them if I like 'em!" *****

(Of course selection is arbitrary! Who's Funny Page is this, anyway?)


Are we there yet?

Should he/she have been issued a drivers license, or did he/she buy it at Sears?

    ** from another reader: Actually, it's : "Where'd you get your license, as a prize in the CrackerJack box?" (thought to be from Brooklyn)

How long have you been here?

(The preceding three contributed by B. L. Perry, Jr. of Colorado. I should never have missed the second as I ask myself that question every time I'm not alone on the road!)

Does a Hindu atheist not believe in the same God that a Christian atheist dosen't believe in? 
--  Mario De Benedittis

What did I just eat? And why did I eat it?
-- Zen DoggyDog

Why do people always find it necessary to drive next to each other at the same speed on 4 lane highways?

-- John Quole

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