By Steve Fey

The end of the year, that is. And what a year, wasn’t it? Lots of complaints being heard from all quarters. Some of the complaints seem louder than others, for instance those explosive complaints delivered in Iraq. I guess that’s a case of us sticking to our occupation until a majority of the people in the country democratically decide to let us stay. Next time, I say we make a State out of the place we invade. What the heck, we’ve got Kansas, how much worse could Iraq be?

Lately, in a movement started by the wise and considerate Bill O’Reilly, a number of conservative Christians (their term; I just report) have been saying that they want to take Christmas back for Christianity. I can’t say that I blame them. Billions are made every year by the mostly non-Christian major retailers. If the Church Holy and Universal could get a cut of all that lucre, why there’d be no limit to what they could accomplish. Even I’d get my very own Crystal Cathedral. Heck, even you would get one. Wouldn’t that be swell, though? Besides, it’s well known that Jesus liked to offer parables about "the woman who shopped till she dropped" and other holiday themes. At least, I’m sure it must be.

Disneyland turned fifty this year. That was a celebration to remember. They called it a "Homecoming." Myself I missed the place for thirty-five years, so it didn’t seem all that much like home. They do have a catchy tune for the holidays, though. I have no idea how it goes, or what the words are, even though I’ve heard it hundreds of times. It’s not another "When You Wish Upon a Star", of that I’m certain. They deck the place up quite a bit for Christmas, by the way. Even the haunted mansion, which was the first time I realized that The Nightmare Before Christmas was a Disney film. They called it a Touchstone picture, probably to keep those people trying to reclaim Christmas for Christians from boycotting the Magic Kingdom. Unfortunately, it worked. Trust me, on a weekend during the holidays, you’d prefer to have just about anybody boycotting the place when you’re there.

In other highlights, the mayor of Las Vegas declared that the proper way to punish graffiti artists was to cut off their thumbs. He is, of course, way off base. Still, he’s a colorful and interesting mayor who, by the way, insists that he’s "not putting up Chanukah bushes. They’re Christmas trees." He’s Jewish, by the way, and a born politician. Also an ex mob lawyer, so if you ever see the movie Casino and notice that frizzy looking mob lawyer, well, then you’ll see the mayor of Las Vegas in his native habitat. Thumbs. Hah. The trigger finger would be more effective.

So, soon it will be off into two-thousand six, which will be a year marked by civil discourse, intelligent government, and a well informed citizenry. On April first, at least.