REPORTING LIKE A REPORTER
By Steve Fey
Watching or reading the news is very educational. Mainly educational in that you learn how the people who edit the news, or report the news, decide which news is news. This has been especially true in the recent past as we’ve awaited developments in the Leak investigation, the Supreme Court nomination, the money laundering scandal and other such items of Big News. In the spirit of public service, we now present a set of headlines or leads that will no doubt prove prescient over time. Rather than struggle to come up with something, any news editor or reporter may feel free to use one of these. You can add the story yourself, surely.
There is nothing to report in the way of further developments in the ongoing investigation into just why we are all here. We’ll keep you updated as to how this investigation is going as it goes.
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Polar bears fleeing the melting arctic ice may invade homes of ordinary Canadians, causing widespread panic and occasional loss of life.
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Jenna Bush still undecided as to running for Congress in 2012. More as it develops.
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In breaking news, the earth is spinning rapidly in an Eastwardly direction. Find out what this means to you on Action News Central at eleven.
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The man known as the "Downtown Strangler" has still not committed his first crime. We’ll have all the details for you in a special report just as soon as his gruesome crime spree begins.
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The upcoming midterm elections could shift the balance of power in the House of Representatives. Find out why in a special report by our crack investigative team tomorrow at six on Six.
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When we return, we’ll tell you why doctors now say that too much of a good thing may not be all that bad. Right after this . . .
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They may look like a giant herd of cows to you, but to rancher Homer Derange they look like a million dollars. We’ll tell you more when Actionable News continues.
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Woman unsure what stain on living room carpet really is.
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Are kids today safer than you were? Learn more on page 27B.
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Media Responsible for Media Content – pg A3
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The special election is all over, and we’ll tell you who won right after CSI:Sandusky.
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A recent surge in hunting license applications could spell trouble for the local deer population. We’ll tell you just why that is, tomorrow morning on "Tomorrow Morning."
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Increased expenditures will cost more money!
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There you go. If you’re reporting or editing the news, feel free to use one or more. If you merely read or watch the news, you can skip it for a few weeks. See how we’re always thinking of you?